That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
