Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
