I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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