I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
