We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
