What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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