When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
