Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
