i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
