Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
