no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
