i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize