24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
