I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
