Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
why do cheetos always look like penises
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
