i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
