Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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