you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
