Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
