My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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