don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
