I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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