I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
