I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize