"it" just moved
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
