just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
