no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
