How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
