I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
