Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
