I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want nice things and good sex
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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