did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
