smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
