Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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