May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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