just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
