We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
porn star boner night. come get it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
