after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
