it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
