Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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