If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
