laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
