apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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