Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
