I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
