I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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