Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
