My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
