I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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