i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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