I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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