I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
