I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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