what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize