I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
