i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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