He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He better not be in your backpack
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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