Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
