Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
