you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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