party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize