i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
