I could have mohawked her pubes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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