He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
