the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
