He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
